First of all, why am I writing this at all? Well, largely because it has become such a huge issue for so many people - especially for people who are linked with churches. Not a week goes by - sometimes hardly a day goes by when this issue is not raised by one person or another on either side of the debate. Assumptions are made on what my stance might be on the subject... and if there’s one thing I am uncomfortable with, more (possibly) any other single thing, it’s having erroneous assumptions made about what I think and feel, and especially when actions are being taken and those assumptions lead people to think that the actions are being done, to some extent, in my name.
I am NOT writing this to express a view on homosexuality or the rights and wrongs of the gay lobby or the theology of such issues. Nevertheless, I realise that people will speculate about my own opinions and beliefs about these things, simply because I’ve decided to comment on the legislation around them and, rather than incur more assumptions, I will say, for the record that no; I do not think it is wrong to be gay. I do not think it is wrong to love someone or to be in love with someone of the same gender as one’s self and I do not think that it is wrong to express that love in a physical relationship. I also think that if a same-sex couple want to commit to spending their lives together, and if their own personal beliefs mean that they want to take on this commitment in the form of the sacrament of marriage, then this should not only be allowed; it is also, surely, better for society than marginalising gay couples and implying that lack of commitment in such relationships is preferable to commitment through marriage. I recognise that this is a sensitive issue for many people and I respect the fact that people have a huge range of views. I think that people are entitled to their beliefs and interpretations of their scriptures and think that people should be allowed to hold those views without fear of recrimination, as long as they are not trying to restrict other people’s similar rights. ( And an aside on this: Would a secularist guest house owner be allowed to deny rooms to a Christian family who might pray with their small child at bedtime, on the basis that secularists believe that ‘imposing religion on a child’ is immoral? No, I think they would not. So the law is fair on that score... Each case should, of course, be taken on merit.)
But this is not about what I believe about homosexuality. This is about why I think, regardless of what I believe, it is wrong to legislate against gay marriage or to hold onto the existing definition of marriage because it is a ‘good Christian model’. (Whether or not I think this to be the case!)
Here are my reasons.
Firstly, I do not think it is right to claim that “Britain is a Christian country or a country based on Christian principles and therefore we should hold fast to laws that enshrine those principles.”
The fact is that Britain is not a Christian country. It is a country that has a rich history of freedom of religion, speech and culture. Even if the country were governed by Christians and largely populated by Christians who did not think that homosexual marriages are ‘right’, would it - even then - be justifiable to pass laws that insist that everyone must behave in a way approved by Christians, regardless of their own beliefs? I would say not.
We have a definition of marriage that is approved by the church and by traditionalists within it. So anyone who wishes to get married to a member of the opposite sex, for life, may do so. May continue to do so, regardless of legislation that may or may not go through. Meanwhile, people who are not Christians - or who interpret the Bible differently from the traditionalists - and who are gay, are currently compelled to toe a line that has been set for them by people with whom they do not agree, despite the fact that they are not asking anything that will hurt anybody else or compromise anyone else’s lifestyle. (No one is being forced to be gay or to marry a gay couple or to change their opinions on the subject.)
The bottom line, in my view, is that we cannot legislate based on personal beliefs, however firmly and fervently those beliefs are held. Even if the anti-gay marriage stance was right - even if, at the end of all things we really do discover that God not only exists but also disapproves of homosexuality - even then! - a person’s beliefs are for the individual to decide for themselves. If the legislation goes through to allow gay marriages, people can still - and will still - think that it is wrong. But the important thing - the vital thing - is that everyone will be allowed to decide for themselves what they think. It is this, more than being ‘allowed’ to be gay or ‘allowed’ to be anti-gay marriage, that is a basic, fundamental human right. The right to have one’s own conscience, one’s own beliefs and one’s own accountability to one’s self, one’s God and one’s loved ones.
In some ways for me, this bottom line removes the need to say more. But I do have other reasons for supporting gay marriage - even if it weren’t for this ‘bottom line’. So...
Secondly, the arguments against gay marriage are, amongst Christians at least - and I admit I’ve not heard any other opposing views - theological. And the theology of this issue is tricky, to put it mildly.
The fact is, people within the church and within the wider Christian community (some of whom have left the church over this very issue) do not agree on the theology. There is a wide range of opinion on the subject, but mainly opinion is polarised. There are Christians - some of them devout, Bible-believing Christians - who are absolutely convinced that there is nothing ‘sinful’ about being gay or being in a gay relationship. This is a fact. There is also, obviously, the opposite view. The point is though, that there are theological arguments - good, solid, sound theological arguments - on both side of the Christian debate. And my suggestion would be that if there is even the shadow of a doubt on the subject - and there is more than a shadow of a doubt - then never mind secular legislation; surely the church itself should humbly, compassionately, leave it to the individual’s conscience and to God. Acknowledge that gay people who are in a loving, committed relationship, deserve to be treated as grown ups, spiritually as well as otherwise. That if they believe their relationship is blessed and accepted by God and if their consciences are clear, then that should be respected.
And before anyone says anything along the lines of, “but this is about life and death - heaven and hell”... It is NOT. Absolutely not. The theology of homosexuality - and sexuality at all - might be tricky, but the Christian theology of salvation is not. the Bible is clear on this. salvation comes through faith in Jesus and a desire to follow him. This means different things to different people - there are as many ways of following Jesus as there are people who follow him. Or there should be, anyway. We are individuals, not clones. So if a gay couple do choose to follow Jesus and do not feel their relationship compromises that, then that is between the two of them and their God.
Thirdly, this legislation is not damaging anyone.
- It is not going to destroy traditional families. It is not ‘wilfully removing’ a mother or a father from a child, as has famously been suggested. Legislation on IVF, artificial insemination and adoption already allows gay couples to have children.
- It is not asking anyone to compromise their beliefs. Legislation is already in place - and is already the subject of contention and lobbying - that might potentially ask people to compromise their own beliefs on these issues. That is another matter.
- It does not compromise or risk compromising the basic tenets of Christianity. Which are, I think indisputably, the ten commandments and Jesus’ summary of the ‘whole law’ which says “love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbour as yourself.”
In conclusion.
I am not asking anyone to support the gay lobby. I’m not asking anyone to change their minds on this issue, although I do hope that perhaps what I’ve said might help people to clarify in their own minds what their opinions are. All I’m doing is making my own position clear and asking that it be respected. I am more than willing to answer questions and counter-arguments, as long as they are phrased with gentleness and respect, as I sincerely hope I have phrased mine.
With love always.
