Eruption © Ruth Calder Murphy (Arciemme)

Eruption

Doves coo

and pigeons do what they do,

and all the bleating, mooing, whinnying cacophany

pours over the open sores of the temple floor.

There’s blood on the altar and screaming in the dark,

here -

in the shadow of the fragrant Ark

where blood is bought and sold,

the Rock of Ages grows tired and old beneath the dusty ground,

where thieves abound and piety toils,

and Divinity recoils at the sight of so much greedy sorrow.

Darkness will fall at the end of the world,

the beginning of all, tomorrow…

But now, it all erupts, like another Big Bang -

volcano-zealous and earthquake-committed,

Trickster rites and rights of Divinity

dancing the Demiurge’s choreography

to the rhythm of the beat -

and sacrificial lambs, bleating

“Hallelujah, Requiem Aeternum,”

all the way to the red hot altar and beyond all this,

to the yawning abyss…

Destroy the Temple,

free the lambs and give them fire to juggle.

Make shepherds of the sheep

and beat a tattoo for their liberated feet

- bring the Mothers out from incarcerated mourning,

out to the almost-dawning,

out to the sudden eclipse of the Sun before Glory dawns.

Hierology riots in the garden,

amongst the fragrant flowers and languid olive trees,

and hours tumble through the trembling leaves towards night…

A cockerel crows in the fragile light

as all is rearranged -

and everything is poised on the precipice

of change.

Lessons Learned From Injury (1)

Lessons learned in injury.

(1) Stillness

_ By Ruth Calder Murphy

Forced to sit in stillness,

listening to the beating of my heart,

frustration flowing away

on the tide of reality,

I learn the lessons that stillness brings -

equal and opposite

to the freedom of wings

and flight -

the freedom of grounding

and growing,

of healing and second sight…

Sitting in stillness,

the brownian motion world

a space or two removed,

away from the rigours of the race -

and my breath slowed to sleeping pace -

I learn again the lesson of sitting still

- against the natural inclination of my restless will -

of how to breathe more deeply,

allowing space to stretch and grow,

in the places only visible

from the pause of Calm and Slow…

 Image: "Be Still" - Oil Painting by Ruth Calder Murphy A3 size. Available to buy.

Injury

Anyone who knows me, or reads a lot of my poetry,  knows that I'm a runner. Running is physical, of course, but it's far more than that to me. I run because I struggle with depression and running is by far the best medication I've ever found - better than other forms of exercise, even.

My depression is exacerbated by the lack of sunlight in the dark half of the year. Many of my poems that celebrate the Autumn and Winter are a form of catharsis for me - a way for me to overcome my natural antipathy to them.

The fact is, I DO love Autumn and Winter - I love all seasons. But my health suffers during the darker months and for many years, I just felt despair when I thought of the encroaching darkness.
Running helps.

On the Autumn Equinox, I ran a half marathon. An injury had been building for a while, but I felt I needed to do the race. (Partly for my psychological well being. It's a long story...)

I haven't been able to run since then, as my injury is peroneal tendonitis and will only heal if I rest from running completely, until it's better.

This is terrible timing - and I am NOT a good patient! I want to run... But I know that I need to rest (my body's tired from over-training) and I know that I have lessons to learn in this, too.

I'm learning them... I'll probably write poems about them, too, at some point...


Injury
- By Ruth Calder Murphy - 

Just in time for the darker days
and the longer nights,
just in time for the Seasons to turn about
and brew in me
a restless longing for a quick way out
- a way to connect with Earth,
run with the breeze,
dance with the tumbling,
gold-edged leaves -
just as unease settles in my belly
and my mind turns to my body
for miracles of movement
to help it through
- to help it do the things it has to do
and be all it needs to be
to carry me safe through Winter’s night,
forward to the waiting arms of Spring -
Just now, as the Equinox opens out its scales
and hangs Everything in the balance
before folding again towards the dark,
my ligaments and tendons,
joints - and all - protest
and call me to a sudden break.
Don’t you know,
my bumbling, ill-timed body,
what’s at stake?
All through Summer, you gave your best
and now, I need you - more than then -
to give your best again...
So,
a sigh,
a deep inhale...
Go; rest and heal.
My mind will have to wait
and that Way Out
will have to enter late.
I want to run,
but first I have to sit -
and learn the lessons
that will come of it.

***********

Image: "Kate On the Rooftop" By Ruth Calder Murphy - illustration for The Everlasting Monday - a novel by Ruth Calder Murphy with Mathew Taylor. The novel is available on Amazon and through www.arciemme.com

"A Thousand Tigers" By Ruth Calder Murphy (Arciemme)

My latest multimedia movie, with my poem "A Thousand Tigers" is about being free and claiming that freedom.





"My Wings have the strength of a thousand tigers.

The door of my cage is open...

and the world waits." Ruth Calder Murphy (Arciemme)

Every Breath (Ouroboros Song) - By Ruth Calder Murphy (Arciemme)

Every Breath (Ouroboros Song) - By Ruth Calder Murphy (Arciemme)

Why I support legislation for gay marriage

Why I support legislation for gay marriage

First of all, why am I writing this at all? Well, largely because it has become such a huge issue for so many people - especially for people who are linked with churches. Not a week goes by - sometimes hardly a day goes by when this issue is not raised by one person or another on either side of the debate. Assumptions are made on what my stance might be on the subject... and if there’s one thing I am uncomfortable with, more (possibly) any other single thing, it’s having erroneous assumptions made about what I think and feel, and especially when actions are being taken and those assumptions lead people to think that the actions are being done, to some extent, in my name.

I am NOT writing this to express a view on homosexuality or the rights and wrongs of the gay lobby or the theology of such issues. Nevertheless, I realise that people will speculate about my own opinions and beliefs about these things, simply because I’ve decided to comment on the legislation around them and, rather than incur more assumptions, I will say, for the record that no; I do not think it is wrong to be gay. I do not think it is wrong to love someone or to be in love with someone of the same gender as one’s self and I do not think that it is wrong to express that love in a physical relationship. I also think that if a same-sex couple want to commit to spending their lives together, and if their own personal beliefs mean that they want to take on this commitment in the form of the sacrament of marriage, then this should not only be allowed; it is also, surely, better for society than marginalising gay couples and implying that lack of commitment in such relationships is preferable to commitment through marriage. I recognise that this is a sensitive issue for many people and I respect the fact that people have a huge range of views. I think that people are entitled to their beliefs and interpretations of their scriptures and think that people should be allowed to hold those views without fear of recrimination, as long as they are not trying to restrict other people’s similar rights. ( And an aside on this: Would a secularist guest house owner be allowed to deny rooms to a Christian family who might pray with their small child at bedtime, on the basis that secularists believe that ‘imposing religion on a child’ is immoral? No, I think they would not. So the law is fair on that score... Each case should, of course, be taken on merit.)

But this is not about what I believe about homosexuality. This is about why I think, regardless of what I believe, it is wrong to legislate against gay marriage or to hold onto the existing definition of marriage because it is a ‘good Christian model’. (Whether or not I think this to be the case!)

Here are my reasons.

Firstly, I do not think it is right to claim that “Britain is a Christian country or a country based on Christian principles and therefore we should hold fast to laws that enshrine those principles.”

The fact is that Britain is not a Christian country. It is a country that has a rich history of freedom of religion, speech and culture. Even if the country were governed by Christians and largely populated by Christians who did not think that homosexual marriages are ‘right’, would it - even then - be justifiable to pass laws that insist that everyone must behave in a way approved by Christians, regardless of their own beliefs? I would say not.

We have a definition of marriage that is approved by the church and by traditionalists within it. So anyone who wishes to get married to a member of the opposite sex, for life, may do so. May continue to do so, regardless of legislation that may or may not go through. Meanwhile, people who are not Christians - or who interpret the Bible differently from the traditionalists - and who are gay, are currently compelled to toe a line that has been set for them by people with whom they do not agree, despite the fact that they are not asking anything that will hurt anybody else or compromise anyone else’s lifestyle. (No one is being forced to be gay or to marry a gay couple or to change their opinions on the subject.)

The bottom line, in my view, is that we cannot legislate based on personal beliefs, however firmly and fervently those beliefs are held. Even if the anti-gay marriage stance was right - even if, at the end of all things we really do discover that God not only exists but also disapproves of homosexuality - even then! - a person’s beliefs are for the individual to decide for themselves. If the legislation goes through to allow gay marriages, people can still - and will still - think that it is wrong. But the important thing - the vital thing - is that everyone will be allowed to decide for themselves what they think. It is this, more than being ‘allowed’ to be gay or ‘allowed’ to be anti-gay marriage, that is a basic, fundamental human right. The right to have one’s own conscience, one’s own beliefs and one’s own accountability to one’s self, one’s God and one’s loved ones.

In some ways for me, this bottom line removes the need to say more. But I do have other reasons for supporting gay marriage - even if it weren’t for this ‘bottom line’. So...

Secondly, the arguments against gay marriage are, amongst Christians at least - and I admit I’ve not heard any other opposing views - theological. And the theology of this issue is tricky, to put it mildly.

The fact is, people within the church and within the wider Christian community (some of whom have left the church over this very issue) do not agree on the theology. There is a wide range of opinion on the subject, but mainly opinion is polarised. There are Christians - some of them devout, Bible-believing Christians - who are absolutely convinced that there is nothing ‘sinful’ about being gay or being in a gay relationship. This is a fact. There is also, obviously, the opposite view. The point is though, that there are theological arguments - good, solid, sound theological arguments - on both side of the Christian debate. And my suggestion would be that if there is even the shadow of a doubt on the subject - and there is more than a shadow of a doubt - then never mind secular legislation; surely the church itself should humbly, compassionately, leave it to the individual’s conscience and to God. Acknowledge that gay people who are in a loving, committed relationship, deserve to be treated as grown ups, spiritually as well as otherwise. That if they believe their relationship is blessed and accepted by God and if their consciences are clear, then that should be respected.

And before anyone says anything along the lines of, “but this is about life and death - heaven and hell”... It is NOT. Absolutely not. The theology of homosexuality - and sexuality at all - might be tricky, but the Christian theology of salvation is not. the Bible is clear on this. salvation comes through faith in Jesus and a desire to follow him. This means different things to different people - there are as many ways of following Jesus as there are people who follow him. Or there should be, anyway. We are individuals, not clones. So if a gay couple do choose to follow Jesus and do not feel their relationship compromises that, then that is between the two of them and their God.

Thirdly, this legislation is not damaging anyone.

-    It is not going to destroy traditional families. It is not ‘wilfully removing’ a mother or a father from a child, as has famously been suggested. Legislation on IVF, artificial insemination and adoption already allows gay couples to have children.

-    It is not asking anyone to compromise their beliefs. Legislation is already in place - and is already the subject of contention and lobbying - that might potentially ask people to compromise their own beliefs on these issues. That is another matter.

-    It does not compromise or risk compromising the basic tenets of Christianity. Which are, I think indisputably, the ten commandments and Jesus’ summary of the ‘whole law’ which says “love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbour as yourself.”

In conclusion.

I am not asking anyone to support the gay lobby. I’m not asking anyone to change their minds on this issue, although I do hope that perhaps what I’ve said might help people to clarify in their own minds what their opinions are. All I’m doing is making my own position clear and asking that it be respected. I am more than willing to answer questions and counter-arguments, as long as they are phrased with gentleness and respect, as I sincerely hope I have phrased mine.

With love always.